What is Zero Tolerance? Does Your School or Community REALLY Have a Zero Tolerance Policy?

"Real zero tolerance is no concealment or silence."  This is a sentence that high school student Ellsworth Evarts IV (who has  Asperger's Syndrome) put on the back of a T-shirt. The front said "Stop bullying now. Stand up, Speak out!" Below the period of the exclamation point are red dots dripping down the T-shirt.  Ells, the T-shirt's designer and a victim of bullying in school said "The bleeding doesn't stop, even after the bullying ends."  As I read this part of the article about bullying and Asperger's, ("Aspberger's Leaves Kids Vulnerable To Bullying"  by Vinti Singh, published in the Greenwich Times September 17, 2011 issue) my heart broke for Ells and the other children profiled in the story.

Obviously these children are only the tip of the iceberg--children with disabilities are often harassed. It doesn't necessarily end with high school graduation.  They are harassed not only by 'regular ed' students but by 'more powerful' special education students. Because some students lack the verbal skills to respond the problem often escalates.

Our family found out first hand what a zero tolerance policy really meant in our school district when one of our daughters was sexually assaulted.  It meant in our district the school district would suspend a boy for a few days, but they would NOT call the police even though a crime had been committed on school property.  Selling or carrying drugs--zero tolerance, fighting, zero tolerance, but sexual assault, not such a big deal.  Something is wrong with this picture. Obviously we haven't 'come a long way baby,' especially if you happen to be disabled and female.

As we sat in the Principal's office he had the nerve to say 'Boys will be boys.'  Right to our face. I'm rarely at a loss for words.  In fact, anyone who knows me would tell you I am never at a loss for words. But there's a first time for everything and that was mine. I sat there staring at the the photos on the Principal's desk showing his son playing baseball and wondered if he'd had a daughter would his reaction have been different? Was his reaction a result of his own parenting fears? Or was he just indifferent? Lacking empathy? His reaction puzzles me to this day.

At first I thought it was just a problem with the principal.  It wasn't.  We went all the way up the chain of command in the school district--they refused to call the police and involve the school, my daughter, my husband and I did. Fortunately the police department and the District Attorney DID have a zero tolerance policy.

The young man was convicted in court. It was only later we found out his family was well known to the police in the area as 'problems'.  Oddly enough one of the Principal's reasons for not reacting differently was something along the lines of what an "exemplary student this boy was, what a good boy, it must have just been a misunderstanding." No way! Unfortunately, that fall day their family issues and problems spilled out and over into my family.  And his problems became part of ours. 

Our daughter made the hard decision to go to the police and to court.  It was not easy for her.  Either before or after. But she said, 'If I don't do something, who will?' My eyes teared up with pride and fear for her.  But to her credit she wanted to be sure he got counseling so it didn't happen again to someone else. That day she made me proud to be her mother.

Was this decision easier because she saw things in 'black and white, without gray areas?' I don't know.  I know I worried she would regret it, but all I could do was support her decision.  One of the hardest things to do when you have a child with disabilities is let them learn by experience instead of telling them what to do.  This tested my limits.  I wanted to hold her, protect her, keep her at home and home school her--but I didn't.  I supported her and yes, gave her those hugs, but I had to let her choose which path to take.  Was I right? Wrong? She did what she thought was right for her.  I couldn't take that power away from her. She went back to school, faced her schoolmates, and dealt with the fallout.

It was at that point in her life that my daughter became one of my heroes.  Young, in middle school, assaulted and yet still willing to put herself out there.  And not for vengeance.  But to be sure no one else got hurt and so that the perpetrator would get counseling. I don't know if I would have been as brave (or forgiving) if it had happened to me at her age. 

I also have to give credit to her friends who she told about the incident first--who encouraged her to tell us and the school.  They were REAL friends.  If you guys are reading this, you know who you are, thank you.  (Yeah, I know I thanked you before, but...once is never enough for something like this).

To be fair, one guidance counselor at the school was helpful to her and the Head of Special Education helped us navigate the Administration. But still no one considered it a police matter.  How sad that those in charge lacked the conviction to do what was right.  Sad they didn't REALLY have a zero tolerance policy against someone breaking the law on school property. And sad that once again the victim was victimized by those in charge. Victimized by the very people you trust your child to each day when they go to school.  Scary that you still have to send that child back to school and trust them.

So the next time you're at a PTA/PTO meeting and there is a discussion about zero tolerance, find out just who is REALLY protected by zero tolerance. You may be surprised to find that zero is only zero when it's easy and convenient for the school district.  And this isn't just a Special Education issue, it effects all students in the school.  Special education students are just often less able to defend themselves.  Kudos to those mentioned in The Greenwich Times article and to the author who presented the issue.

Read the full article in The Greenwich Times at:http://www.greenwichtime.com/local/article/Asperger-s-leaves-kids-vulnerable-to-bullying-2176151.php#ixzz1YvZQEVbQ

St. Coletta of Greater Washington DC Area Holding Fundraiser

Always happy to promote organizations who are holding fundraisers, not only can you donate if you have something to auction, if you're looking for a program it gives you ideas of where to look.  Sounds like this is going to be a blast!

Drug Study For Fragile X Syndrome.

Are you an adolescent, adult or do you have a child with Fragile X Syndrome? Would you like to join the Researchers at Suburban Research Associates who are currently accepting participants for a study of an investigational drug in children, adolescents, and adults with Fragile X Syndrome.

During this 18-week research study of children and adults diagnosed with Fragile X Syndrome, all participants will receive either active medication or placebo (sugar) pills. 

Eligibility Requirements for Fragile X Syndrome Drug Study:

To be eligible for this study, participants must:
• Be between the ages of 12 and 25 years
• Have Fragile X Syndrome
• Not have any other significant medical conditions (e.g. heart disease, high blood pressure, lung disease, liver or kidney failure, unstable seizure disorder, thyroid disease)

To see if you are eligible for this study visit Suburban Research and fill in their questionnaire.  Also take the time to investigate Suburban Research. 

(I have no connection with anyone involved in this study, I am only offering the information so you can make your own decisions if you would be interested in taking part in it.)

Dial for Dollars--Welfare etc. Helpful Phone Numbers (For Pennsylvania Residents)

As a resident of Pennsylvania I thought I'd provide my readers with some important phone numbers that can assist you if you are disabled or are a caregiver of a child/or adult who is.  Phone numbers courtesy of the state of Pennsylvania DPW link.  If you live in a different state, check your state web site for a list of helpful numbers. 

Service	Phone Number
Autism Services	1-866-539-7689
Benefits Helpline (Cash Assistance, SNAP, MA etc.)	1-800-692-7462
ChildLine (State Child Abuse Registry)	1-800-932-0313
Children's Health Helpline	1-800-986-KIDS
Disability Services	1-866-286-3636
Governor's Office	1-717-787-2500
Estate Recovery Program	1-800-528-3708
Personnel Information	1-717-787-5025
Secretary of Public Welfare	1-717-787-2600
Welfare Fraud TipLine	1-800-932-0582

One thing I'd like to remind all families of is it's always worth checking to see if you are eligible for programs you never thought you would be.  Many years after my children were young we found out we'd have been eligible for assistance when they were younger--we just didn't know it, so struggled along.  Being too proud to ask for assistance, or simply not knowing about eligibility, especially when your children need it, makes no sense (and no cents!).  I just wish I'd known!

Webcast RE: Autism

I was asked to post this for any of my readers who might be interested.  If you have a member of your family or know someone who suffers from autism? This webcast might be of interest to you.  It's based on the state of Pennsylvania but the results might be of interest nationwide.  Hope it's helpful!

Topic: Bureau of Autism Services (BAS) General Initiatives Overview

Presented by Nina Wall-Coté, BAS Director

1:00 pm – 2:30 pm

Tuesday, August 30, 2011  OR
Wednesday, August 24, 201110:00 am – 11:30 am
The same information will be presented in two separate sessions. This presentation will also be recorded and posted to the BAS Virtual Training & Resource Center. We hope this will enable professionals and families some flexibility in joining us.

Pre-registration is not required. To join the presentation:

1. Visit http://bastraining.acrobat.com/baswebcast/
2. Sign in as a Guest using your first name, association.

Webcast Overview:

The Bureau of Autism Services, DPW, in collaboration with the regional ASERTs, is about to publish a series of reports highlighting findings and recommendations resulting from the PA Autism Needs Assessment. This survey, the most comprehensive study of its kind, reflects feedback shared by over 3,500 families and individuals with autism in the Commonwealth.

Report topics include: Statewide Summary, Service Needs, Barriers to Accessing Services, Unwanted Outcomes, Diagnosis, Employment Challenges, and Family Impact.

To learn more about this project and other BAS current initiatives, including Pennsylvania’s two adult autism programs and training resources, we encourage you to join the Bureau during an upcoming webcast: 8/24/2011, 1:00-2:30pm or 8/30/2011, 10:00-11:30am. Please visit
http://bastraining.tiu11.org (Updates: Presentations & Newsletters section) for more details.

Any questions about the webcast should be directed to --

Bureau of Autism Services, Office of Developmental Programs
Department of Public Welfare
Room 601 Health & Welfare Bldg. | Hbg., PA 17120
Phone: 1.866.539.7689|Fax: 717.265.7761
Email: DPW-AutismOffice@pa.gov
www.autisminpa.org
www.dpw.state.pa.us

Ticket To Work Webinar--Register NOW!

National Work Incentives Seminar Event (WISE) webinar is coming up August 24, 2011.  This webinar will be on using Ticket to Work for young adults in transition.  Social Security offers a program called "Ticket to Work."  Ticket To Work is a program for adults with a disability who want to continue to get their Social Security benefits while they transition to greater financial independence.  Social Security's Ticket to Work provides the employment support you need to succeed in a job without losing your benefits.

Unfortunately many consumers worry about taking part in it because they don't want to lose their benefits and face it, reading those little brochures the government prints out just isn't quite enough info so people tend to avoid using the service.  After going through the incredible hassle of finally being approved for benefits many consumers are worried about risking their benefits by using Ticket to Work.  Hopefully this webinar will address some of the issues you're concerned about.  It will present information about special rules that may apply to you due to your medical condition/s.  They'll teach you about what the Ticket to Work incentives are, where to get more information, and present success stories of people who used their Ticket to Work.  So sign up to take part now. 

Register online or call 866-968-7842 or 866-833-2967 (TTY).  If you can't make this webinar, there are some prior ones archived online that might be of interest to you.

All Moms Deserve Time To Unwind

Are you a mom of a special needs child? Grown Thru Play is having a night out just for you! 

What is Grow Thru Play? Grow Thru Play is a pediatric therapy practice which focuses on play as a child’s main occupation. According to their web site they "provide occupational therapy, physical therapy, group classes, and educational seminars."  They also "offer comprehensive evaluation and use current research to guide individual and group treatment plans. Grow Thru Play, LLC is a place where children of all abilities can play, learn, and grow."

One reason I'm focusing on Grow Thru Play is because they not only offer creative therapy that you can read about on their web site but they also are having "A Special Moms' Night Out."  While I'll focus on the importance of Early Intervention for children in a later post, the importance of a network for moms (or for dads) is of nearly equal importance.  There is a certain isolation many moms with 'special needs' children go through that a night like this addresses and makes a huge difference in a woman's ability to provide quality parenting.  Face it, being part of a group and having other women to talk to who are going through similar experiences is invaluable.  I wish I'd found this sooner since the event is on August 4th.  Hopefully some of you will be able to make it and it won't be the only event like this they have for parents.  Don't forget to RSVP!

”A Special Moms’ Night Out”
When: Thursday, August 4th from 7:30pm-9:30pm
Why: All Moms deserve time to unwind!!
How: Come drink, eat and engage in decorative card making
while meeting other Moms who have children with Special Needs
Cost: $10/person
RSVP: 215-545-0320 or tara@growthruplay.com

Visit Grow Thru Play, LLC at www.growthruplay.com.
Contact Us at (215)-545-0320
Our Location is:
1636 South Street
Philadelphia, PA 19146